I always talk to myself that I am ready to move on from that phase. The phase where I always write all poems, write down everything that I feel in such a melodramatic ways. I keep telling myself, I've done there. I need to move on. I need to live in the reality. But the true is I never want to move on. I want to be always there as the melodramatic me in such way cause I enjoy it so much.
Earlier today, I read all the poems that I write, I read all my melodramatic short stories and also my novel and give myself one hell of a question,"Do you really want to let that girl go?". Maybe I have fewer readers now, not so much as I have when I was so actively being melodramatic and wrote all the feelings down (read: on high school), but hell yeah. I realize now, the reader part is not the thing I need the most. The thing I need the most is to finally let my feeling go in such a beautiful way.
I've burried all my feelings with a silence. I never pour them again with words like I used to. I missed many parts that really good enough to be written. I miss the old me.
It's not a good starter for being melo again, but yeah, I promise myself to write more and also make a promise to finish my thesis soon. Amen.