Boi,
Masih ingat kah kau dengan bangku di depan kelas perkuliahan kita yang terbuat dari semen kaku itu? Yang selalu dingin dan berat, tapi penuh dengan canda dan tawa para mahasiswa yang sedang melupakan bagaimana susahnya tugas akhir semester.

Kita pernah duduk di bangku itu, Boi. Di bawah pohon akasia yang daunnya malu-malu, enggan rimbun juga enggan luruh, kita berdebat dengan seru. Yang lain menyebut kita berdebat sengit karena kita memperdebatkan soal apakah Indonesia ini perlu dianggap sebagai bangsa.

Kau, Boi, dengan jiwa nasionalisme yang menggebu itu, bersikukuh Indonesia ini bangsa. Kita disatukan oleh sejarah, sejarah kaum terjajah. Katamu, Boi, bangsa ini berdarah-darah menjadi satu agar lepas dari belenggu. Kau sibuk menyebut nama, tahun dan tempat. Mirip seperti buku sejarah jaman SMA yang sarat hapalan.

Kau, Boi, tak sependapat denganku karena aku merasa tak ada itu bangsa Indonesia. Yang ada itu Negara. Kita tak pernah satu karena sejarah, kita bersatu karena terpaksa secara administrasi. Bangsa adalah hal yang lain dari negara. Bangsa adalah suku. Aku menyebut tahun yang lebih lampau, berceritera bahwa bangsa Jawa punya sejarah yang jauh berbeda dari Bangsa Ambon. Bagaimana bisa budaya yang begitu berbeda kau satukan begitu saja menjadi bangsa, Boi? Aku rapal segara teori yang aku hapal, mendebatmu dengan lugu.

Tentu malam itu kita tak bertemu kata sepakat. Mungkin hingga hari ini, Boi. Kau selalu bersikukuh Indonesia itu bangsa, aku teguh bahwa Indonesia ini Negara.

Tapi kita kini sepakat, Boi, Indonesia itu rumah, tempat pulang yang selalu hangat.

Debat itu Boi, mana ada yang peduli, selain kita. Kawan-kawan di sekeliling kita sedang sibuk menghitung algoritma Binary Search yang paling efektif. Apa yang kita perdebatkan, selain tak penting juga nirfaedah bagi mareka.

Disitulah aku tahu, Boi, kau adalah orang yang akan antusias membahas dunia ini bersama. Meski pendapat kita berbeda, meski jalan kita tak sama.

Iya, Boi, kita sepakat untuk tidak sepakat pada hal-hal yang orang lain pun tak akan pernah sempat berdebat.

Kau ingat bangku itu kan, Boi?



Jakarta, 28 Desember 2017

image source

It was a breezy afternoon in South Jakarta, Indonesia. I was sitting comfortably on my chair with my office pillows (yes, plural) when I realized that I need to write what had happened in my life in a year after I shared my post about quarter life crisis. Why? This year has been the exact opposite of what I did last year when I posted that quarter life crisis and yes, I am enjoying it.

I wrote that the key of facing quarter-life crisis was let it go. No, it’s not a reference to any Disney movies. And that was what I did. I let my crisis went by. How did I do it? By sticking to my priorities in life.

I was in the middle of crisis and dilemma about where to go because the future at that time seemed so blurry. I rearranged my life priorities and talk about it with  close friends and family. I shared it to people whom I trusted and I am glad I did the right thing. After discussion with the close one, I decided not to pursue any career outside Indonesia yet. I went back home and working in a start up company which offer me so many flexibility and room to grow and learn. To be completely honest, I was looking for a job with flexible contract term. In Indonesia, it is common that when you resign before the designated time you have to pay for a penalty and this is what I always avoid. Why I need flexibility? Because I simply do not want to be tied down with fixated term.

And It turns out, I love my job. I love working as a Product Manager in the biggest e-commerce in Indonesia. I love the culture, I love the people, I love the product itself. I love that what I do in daily basis help millions of people in Indonesia. I love the fact that we bring impact to microeconomics even in rural area. I love managing the product, the people and stakeholder. I will be lying if I said I am never stress or under-pressured, but it is an honest truth that I love my job and how much it has taught me to be a better person.

My Squad at work

I learn to manage expectation, I learn to communicate better, I learn to strive for the goal and still being realistic. I love to motivate people and my team. I experienced the burst of happiness when my product was launched and users excited about it. In short, my job deserves another whole of blog post.

Back to my quarter-life crisis, once I focused my goal based on my priority, the vision getting clearer. What I fear the most about uncertainty in the future becomes my best friend and I can deal it with peace. Life is full of uncertainties and that’s the beauty of life. Once I set my priority, I start to see what does really matter for me that can bring me happiness. It is from within. It is never from anyone else.

Facing quarter-life crisis is not a hit-and-go battle. It is continuous process. Sometimes I still feel wobble in life and I guess that’s a part of being human. But when I do look back to last year, I realize that I couldn’t find happiness because I was busy looking around when I actually I should look inside.

If right now you still in the middle of quarter-life crisis, here is my suggestion for you. You should start to look inside to know what really matters for you. Have your priorities sorted and make actionable goal from that. Embrace your crisis. Talk to someone who you trust. Find peace within your own heart. It might sound too illusory right now but I can guarantee you that the fog will lit and you will see everything clearer once you start to embrace your own crisis. And yes, you are never alone. This too shall pass.